The same ol'

It's always when exam time is approaching that I blog. Noone is online cause everyone else is busy studying for their own exams...or busy with other things in life. Me sitting in front of the pc, trying for the one millionth to stay off msn (without much success) attempt to study. But as expected, my productivity is never as good as I anticipate.

Thoughts plague my mind like a disease. Playing with the words, what if this, what if that..deciding what to do after exams etc. I'm jealous of those who can concentrate so well and be able to work efficiently but also have time to play. For me on the other hand, the time is wasted, With me doing nothing, gaining nothing. The mind of a procrastinator.

Prior to every exam I say to myself - I must waste less time. What I am currently doing and thinking is not going to help me pass my exam. Leave those useless thoughts till after the exams. But I don't understand. Why am I not convinced? Why can't I have some self control. Frustrated and stressed is my current status.

Frustrated that I'm not getting anywhere with my study. Stressed about the amount of work I need to go through. Angry that I'm wasting precious time whilst everyone else around is hard at work. Why can't I be like them? Why is concentration so hard?

In fact the very question and word on my mind is:

"WHY"?

Ideal home....

How good would it be to be able to live in the city but also enjoy the tranquil surrounding of the Royal Botanic Garden.

A place I can't afford. But at least I can dream about it...

The significance of poker....

You see the work 'poker'..what do you think of?

Its amazing how one card game - poker can be used in so many different context.

Almost everyone at work seems to know how to play the game (except me). Its been used as the theme of some movies..and now just reading through my accounting notes, its been drawn as an analogy to making investment decisions.

Investments, gambling, risk taking...i guess it's all the same.

We say we don't gamble...but how un true is that? Life IS a gamble..and each day, we gamble our lives away....

Sunday....

It's definitely is not the best weekend to be out on the beach or even to be outside cause it's just so cold and miserable. But neither do I want to be stuck indoors all weekend!! My plan of exercising in the morning has fallen through. Instead, I've decided to satisfy my stomach with some choc and hazlenut cookies with a cup of nice steaming hot chocolate! :D

I have a sudden craving for Hurricanes right now. Don't know why! Maybe cause I just want an excuse to head outside! If only weekends are 3 days instead of the 2...I think it would make things just that little better!

Passing time...

Sometimes, I sit and wonder. When we have something - we don't treasure it. When we lose it, that is when we really wonder, maybe I should have treasured it more.

The ungratefulness of human nature.

On the flip side, sometimes we treasure what we have so much that we don't realise how tightly we are holding on. And in the end, only to realise things will eventually change.

So what am I talking about?

I don't know. Random thoughts on a random day...

Figures..friday is always weird...

Back to study..

Fun Friday

Yes yes..i KNOW i should study..but promise I'll go study after blogging. Just wanted to have this recorded so I won't forget..although I must say, it will be a long remembered night.

The day began in the office with nothing much to do cause I wasn't booked on anything. So took it easy, did my admin, emails and a little bit of study. In the arvo, we went Paddington lawn bowls for our end of busy season event. It was actually quite fun and surprisingly it didn't rain. Each of us were split into teams. My team came first...counting from the end :D Sad to see one of us ex-grads leaving...best of luck!

Night time came dinner...and OMG...one of the funniest night and 'weirdest' topics of conversation at Spanish Terrazas. That place wasn't that bad either...live music, mixed tapas and seafood paella with a bunch of 'crazy' people makes it an interesting combination.

After food, there was more food...riveria and the ice cream was amazingly big. The topics from dinner was brought over to dessert with some people laughing uncontrollably. I won't even dare stating what the topics of conversations were. Let's just say it was...crazy, hilarious and fun! Hidden thoughts were spoken aloud :P

Frustration

Some things are just harder to get over..

Chop chop moving right along...easier said than done! I'm sure I'm over it..I once learnt in psyc the more you supress a thought, the more likely it will reoccur because you'll be triggering certain 'nodes' in your memory. What I didn't pay attention to in class was how to forget..i think it was along the lines of preoccupying your mind with something else so you wont even have time to think about ur suppressed thought.

The less distractions for me the better...msn, gtalk, facebook, blah blah blah


Right now I NEED to study...study...study...

Habits are hard to change

I have my exams in 15 days...not long at all considering the amount of paper we have to sift through...

Prior to every exam for the past 7 years I suffer from what is called procrastination. Online, checking email...it doesn't make life easy.

My aim is the stay offline as much as I could and hopefully increase my productivity over the next 2 weeks..2 weeks only..atm I'm just trying to justify with myself that nothing cannot wait for another 2 weeks.

I really need to study...I really should study..and now I really will go study...

Wish me luck :D

In hibernation until the exams are over (hopefully)

Well not hopefully..but definitely...

Interesting thoughts...

Have been up since 4:30am...gone out came back..done my morning exercise and planning to study for the rest of the day. But what's a day without 'some' procrastination.

Reading other random people's blogs and thoughts can be quite interesting. People with different opinions, ideas, goals, dreams and views on life. Putting things in perspective, life isn't all that bad. There's study and work. But really what's to life without them. Study will 'supposedly' make you more knowledgeable, work is vital for a living. All aside, there will be times for fun and play, holidays and the like. As the saying goes, "No pain, no gain".

Are we all just taking things for granted? How much do we show appreciation to those who really care? How often do you think that life is bad? When was the last time that you said things are bad. What is bad? Relatively speaking, I don't think things are as bad as it seems because there will always be more worse case scenarios.

I've always remembered this quote and found it quite meaningful. "When you says things are bad, compared to what?" What benchmark are you using to measure the 'badness'?


"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” - Fredrick Keonig

Whatever you think...

I don't know what to write about anymore...

Life is not interesting enough to write about - work, home, study and the pattern continues...life? need some reorganising...aim: better time management skills

Mind is too convoluted to decipher - am i just too dumb, or are things really that challenging? i dont understand..this, that or anything.

Frustration

Frustrated, annoyed and once again, procrastinating.

I thought I will be able to concur procrastinating. It is really nothing but the mind. The time you spend doing other things or nothing totals to a ridiculous amount of time. Why do that? Time cannot be reversed, just as some things in the world, there's no second chance.

What I think I am lacking is some direction. Speaking to some people really amazed me..the ideas they think about, the direction they see, the things they achieve.

What are my goals? Where do I see myself going? What do I want out of life and work? These are the questions I am trying to find answers to. Hopefully it will be sooner than later!

Another random thoughts:
- Sometimes I just feel so 'out of place'
- I feel like going on a road trip
- I don't understand the 'thrill' of clubbing
- What could I do during the easter long weekend?

Strange but true..

I had one of those weird days...

I passed my exams..woohoo!! And congratulations to everyone that passed..its fabulous that noone I know has failed!! :D

One would be expected to be so happy and exuberant!! But on the other extreme I found myself crying...from sadness not from happiness. I don't know how to explain..in fact I don't really want to explain. But that maybe I can put an end to something. Maybe I can now see things in a different light and move in a more meaningful direction.

Things, I believe all happen or don't happen for a reason. It is these little events that happen on a day to day basis that build up to create a meaning.

As a little reward for myself, I ended up at the Lindt cafe at Cockle Bay. It wasn't as great as I expected. A hot choc with a slice of chocolate hazlenut gateau costed me $13...ummm definitely sky high prices!!

Driving expedition

Not so much of an expedition..but driving from north to south and north again in one day is something that I don't do often. So where were my destinations on Australia Day?

Bexley North - Hurstville - St Leonards - Caringbah - Epping

It good to catch up with people...but driving late at night is definitely not safe. As 'usual', I had my near misses. Glad I was home in one piece.

I'm going to have to stay clear of the city one day. Almost every weekend I'm in the city and its kinda driving me nuts!! Absolutely nothing interesting in the city - well not that I have discovered..never seem to do anything different!! Ah wells..life goes on...

Into the new year...

17 days into the new year...

no new year resolution thus far..

great to hear some interesting and happy news from friends...

tired from work....increasingly so throughout the week

looking forward to long weekend...or even just weekend in general...

watching the world evolve around me...